Back to Main



Come Hither Part II
By Redphantom Xenpsychous

A horde of pale people dressed in black carrying long swords surrounded us. Their leader,
a short man holding a human skull who had red eyes, fangs, and long black fingernails 
stepped forward. He laughed maniacally, and said, "Now we have more blood for the 
sacrifices."

Pekoe calmly got out of the inflatable raft and said, "Those sure are some nice nail
files you boys got."

The leader smiled and said, "A timid old man and a child, plus a few older men.”

"I'm not old."Terry quickly shot back at the leader. 

"And you try to claim you're not gay."I responded. 

Terry gave me a warning look, "I'm not gay."

Teaspoon laughed, "Come on, Ter, we like don't mind."

"I'm not gay."Terry repeated himself.

Teaspoon gave the natural response, "You defend your sexuality an awful lot for a 
straight dude."

"Kick these guys' asses, Ruby Drip."said Pekoe suddenly. 

"What?"was my response. 

Pekoe clarified himself, "This is your magical theistic adventure, Ruby, show them 
the righteous crushing physical force harnessed from the murky depths of the spiteful 
obscene subdivision of your immortal contorted soul."

I waited for a moment before asking, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Pekoe paused and then said, "I believe, in infantile simpleton speak it translates 
to, 'Go kick they asses, Ruby Dog.'"

I paused before telling him, "I'm fat and out of shape."

The leader of the people in cloaks grew tired of our talking amongst ourselves and said, 
"Seize them. Prepare them for being chopped into pieces and then sacrificed to Satan. 
Either that, or prepare them to be chopped up and made into dog food. I don't care which,
just do something with them."

Pekoe smiled, "You boys in good with Satan?"

The leader replied, "Yes, we're Satanists, we're going to sacrifice your immortal 
souls to him."

"I worked with Satan a few times."Pekoe replied, "I don't think he'll like 
you all's sacrifice. On account of, you all dressed like you vagrant vagabonds."

"Great, the old man is senile."replied the leader, "That means he gets to 
be dog food. No one wants a crazy man's soul."

Pekoe sighed, "My oh my, I'm gonna die. Please, oh please, let me play one last tune
on my harmonica, before I get down on my knees. And let you kill me with such ease, free 
to take my soul, make me into dog food, or do as you please."

"He might be good for entertaining Satan."said one of the cloaked men, "Maybe 
we shouldn't turn him into dog food.”

The Satanist slapped the cloaked man who said that in the face and said, "You fool, 
Satan is the lead guitarist of a heavy metal band. He needs not entertainment."

"That's right."Pekoe replied, "Satan is in a metal band, with Lilith doing
vocals, Beelzebub on rhythm guitar,  Cain on bass guitar, proving even non musical people
can be in a band, and Mr. Rogers on the drums."After saying this, Pekoe took the 
moments of stunned silence to take out his magic harmonica and he began to play it. 

The leader of the Satanists realized what was happening and shouted, "Hey, I never 
said your could play your harmonica."Pekoe ignored this and continued to play, and 
then zombies emerged from the ground and devoured all of the Satanists except for their 
leader. The leader stood stunned and said, "Wow, that's some cool voodoo magic.”

Pekoe laughed and shook his head, "No sir, this some cool voodoo magic."Pekoe 
played his harmonica once more, and seven demons popped out of the ground. They seized the 
Satanist leader with their mighty claws and dragged him into the ground and off to hell. 
Pekoe laughed and played some more notes on his harmonica, vanishing the zombies he had 
previously summoned. Pekoe then walked over to me and patted my shoulder with his arm, 
"Don't take it hard, Ruby Drip, some people get a little stage fright on their first
time out. Next time though, ain't no flaxen avenging angel gonna save your ass. You gotta
learn the art of burro spankin' combat."Pekoe handed me a book, "Read this and 
digest it's critical crafty teachings with you eyes and cerebrums.”

I took the book from Pekoe and examined it. I noticed that it had a page turned down. I 
thought this was odd and decided to check it out. Upon looking at the page, I only became
more confused. The page Pekoe had turned down was one about escaping from prison. I had no 
plans to go to prison any time soon. 

"You all is terribly inept inexperienced noble warriors."Pekoe started, 
"We gone and left the unfortunate victims bound in cold oppressive cords. Come, let 
us release them from their captivity."

Pekoe walked over the remains of the dead satanists he had slain and over to a black 
building, which was barely visible in the darkness of the night. Teaspoon, Terry, 
Temperance, and I followed him. Pekoe went down several hallways where confused Satanists
eyed him with suspicion. 

"What the fuck you all doin'?"asked Teaspoon, "You supposed to be helpin' 
wit a sacrifice." 

"We didn't realize that we'd have to do actual work if we became Satanists."said 
one of the loiters in response. 

Another nodded, "Yeah, you know what I don't like about Jesus? He wants us all to 
work."

"I just want to make art, man."said one of the other Satanists, "I just 
don't like the church, man. With all their repression. I just like making paintings."

Terry looked at them with disgust, "You're all going to hell."

One of the other Satanists shook their head, "You're so judgmental. Wasn't Jesus 
against that? This is why I became a Satanist. The biggest recruiting tool for Satanists 
is the Christian religion itself."

Pekoe kept walking, and I along with the other members of our group followed. We kept 
walking until we reached the room where the sacrifices are performed. Sitting tied up in 
the center of the room were four people, three men and one woman. They all looked pale, 
skinny, and gaunt, and had black hair. The woman's hair was long. Pekoe smiled at the 
group and then began to play his magic harmonica. Instantly the people on the ground 
became untied and rose to their feet. 

"That's devil magic."said the woman, "You're going to hell for using devil 
magic."

Teaspoon looked angry, "Bitch, we just saved yowe life. You show us some thanks."

The woman smiled, "I would, but cooperation with evil is just as bad as actually doing 
evil, so I can't. I will oppose your evil Satanist ways. Even if you just saved my life, 
because I'm trying to save your life...no, I'm trying to save your soul. You might do 
crack..."

"I don't do no crack."Teaspoon replied. 

The woman sighed, "Ok, heroin then."

"I don't do that neither."said Teaspoon.

"Well, you used to, I see a darkness on you."said the woman, "That's 
because one day I was praying, and I asked god, I asked him, 'Let me see darkness on 
people. So that I can cure them.' I cure people. I'm a saint. I'm not going to save your 
life. I'm trying to save your soul. Your immortal soul, Tyrone. Your soul."

"Fuck you all."Teaspoon said, "Let's tie em' back up and burn them with 
gasoline."

"I know you're only saying that because Satan made you."said the woman. 

An elderly man entered the room after the woman said this, he was bald with sunglasses and 
he wore a white business suit. He was tall and handsome. Next to him was an eight foot 
tall green demon with yellow eyes. The demon was extremely muscular and menacing. Next to
the demon was a skinny attractive black woman woman with curly black hair and violet eyes
dressed in gothic attire. And next to her was a black  man dressed in gothic attire with 
spiky black hair, brown eyes, and he was, like the woman next to him, very skinny.  

"My man."Pekoe said, "How long has it been?"

"Too long,"the old man replied, "Sorry, I just got caught up in the 
recording of a new album, that, and, running hell, you know. Plus, Rogers isn't always 
available. He's got virtuous stuff to do, you know. He just likes playing with us to show
that God really does love everyone you know. Plus he's good at what he does. I guess he's
also kind of pissed because I double crossed him on his contract...but that's just the 
business."

"I'm good at what I do!"said the black man next to the black woman.

"Shut up, Cain."said the demon next to the old man. 

Pekoe smiled, "I see as always you and your lot are frolicking in the vast universal 
meadows of friendship and love."

"Yeah."the old man sighed, "Cain is a talentless dick. I would replace him, 
but...ah...I'm not putting that much effort into the bass tracks."

"Bassists make art!"Cain spat. 

"Some do."the demon replied, "You just make noise. If you left the band, 
all you would be qualified to do is record albums for rap musicians."

"Who are you people?"the woman to be sacrificed asked. 

"I'm Satan,"the old man replied, "and I'm here to take your immortal soul."

The man next to the woman to be sacrificed looked surprised and asked, "Aren't you 
supposed to be red and with horns and stuff?"

Satan sighed, "Look, I just do that for stage performances. I'm just a guy. A rich, 
famous, back stabbing white asshole. Beelzebub here..."Satan pointed to the demon, 
"is the freak, but that's just because he likes tattoos and cheap surgery."

"You're one to talk, Satan,"replied Beelzebub, "You've got more chemicals 
in your body than a chemistry set."

Satan shrugged, "Where would I be without my chiseled good looks?"

"So..."said one of the males who was about to be sacrificed, "You are that 
guy who plays dressed music dressed up like Satan? I always thought you guys were just a 
band."

"Yeah, that's what everyone thinks, but I am the prince of darkness himself."
Satan bowed, smiled and asked, "Are you a fan?"

The man to be sacrificed just shook his head, "No, it's just that we played a set 
with you once, remember?"

"I'm up there with Hendrix, I only remember bands with extraordinary talent."
Satan replied pretentiously white Pekoe coughed and then loudly laughed. 

"We're Fathom, the Christian rock band."replied the man to be sacrificed, 
"I'm Peter, the rhythm guitarist."

"And I'm Mary, the genius of the group. I also play lead guitar and I write all the 
amazing awesome vocals."said the woman to be sacrificed, "And this is Andrew, 
he's the drummer."Mary pointed to one of the other male band mates, "I wish I 
didn't have to have him or Peter, but you know, I only have two hands, not eight hands, 
which means I have to have other members of the band. I can't make an album of just 
singing alone you know."Mary pointed to the last band member and then said almost as
a side note, "He's the bassist."The bassist frowned and began to shake. 

"Everyone hates the bassist."Cain screamed, "Why does everyone hate the 
bassist? Abel could play the harp. Who likes the harp? God liked the harp. Why didn't he 
like my bass guitar?"

"Because you suck at it."Beelzebub replied, "It's the rhythm section you 
asshole. It's supposed to be understated. Your entire job is to make the rest of the song 
sound better without being too over the top. Do you know how hard it is to be recognized 
for being in the background? Bass kicks ass when you play it right. You don't do that."

"My solo album only bombed because I'm a Jew!"Cain yelled. 

The female member of Satan's band rolled her eyes, "And it can't have anything to 
do with the fact that no one wants to endorse the first known murderer."

"I told you I'm not going to use a stage name, Lilith."Cain spat, "If I 
did, how would people know to buy it hearing my musical genius on the Satan albums?"

Peter shook his head, "Honestly, I thought Satan was just the name of a heavy metal 
band trying to sound cool."

"Nope."Satan responded, "I named it after myself because my music kicks so 
much ass. And we're not just metal. We released an entire acoustic album. We have a shit 
ton of blues albums. I used to play the fiddle, and I still do sometimes. Especially when
I visit the south. Our band used to be known as Old Scratch. We even let Cain play in the
band. We gave him a bell and told him to improvise. I also put out one rap record. Did 
that one solo. I've never cared much for techno. We did put out a country music once, 
though."

"I refused to take part int that."Lilith said at this. 

Satan nodded, "Yeah, Lilith refused to take part in the country CD, she went off and 
did some solo stuff, so I sang vocals in an off key twang. It didn't make us much money, 
but that's ok, because I only recorded it to torture people in hell. I lost the rights 
for the country songs I liked using, and they wanted to charge me out the ass to renew 
them. So I told them to go to hell and decided to record my own country music.”

Beelzebub smiled, "And remember we did some funk albums?"

"Oh yeah,"Satan nodded at Beelzebub, "That was when Cain left the band, so 
you just played bass, and we had Paimon come on to play rhythm guitar and do backing 
vocals."

"I was better at guitar."Beelzebub said bitterly. 

"Yeah."Satan replied, "Our fans were happy when we put you back on the 
rhythm guitar."Satan looked at Fathom, "See, I have such varied musical tastes 
and this is only one of my bands. You'll have such fun in hell."

Andrew looked confused, "Wait, so you're Satan, and you just go around playing music
all day?”

Satan shrugged, "I play music a lot. It gives credibility to my record company. You 
know, it's run by a guy that loves the music. He wants to be a musician himself, but 
according to certain critics, and know it all assholes, he isn't too good at it. He still
loves that music though. It makes it easier for me to take musicians souls. And to make 
them sell me their music. It makes it easier to reap profits from their works. Only 
allowing them a small slice of the pie I made them bake for me whilst intoxicating them 
with fame, fortune, alcohol, and hookers to make them forget. It isn't easy to be a 
musician and big time record producer, but evil is hard work."

Peter frowned, "Man, I am so glad that we aren't signed to Satan records."

"Satan records isn't my label, you fool."Satan said, "I would not be so 
stupid is to blatantly label my record company as such. Not with all the books, movies, 
and plays trying to denounce me as such. All very well written, I might add. All very good 
portals of me, I think, except that I always lose in the end. Anyone who takes a look at 
the world can tell you I more often win."Satan paused, "As for not being signed
with me...well, I own shares in every major record label. This system makes it so easy for 
me. Every time you buy a CD, you put money in my pocket. I have such investments in 
business, any time you buy anything, you put money in my pocket. Even necessities. You 
want to defeat me? Starve."

"We will defeat you."Mary sang, "With the power of music and love."

Satan laughed, "With music? I remember your music now, my dear, upon hearing your 
name. Don't make me laugh. Your music is terrible. I remember I was talking to the pope 
the other day, he was telling me that your music is so horrible it makes him feel better 
for having been a Nazi. He is able to sleep at night knowing that being a Nazi is not the
worst sin a a Christian has committed. No."Satan paused, "Your music is the type 
of popular, empty garbage which keeps people complacent and happy. It even has just enough
thought in it to make people think that they think. And it keeps real artists, real 
artists whose music can inspire and spread love, it keeps them poor and on the street 
corners."

Mary looked defiant, "We're not going to be brought down by your lies."

Satan grinned, "Faith...is such an effective tool for escaping from reality, and 
ignoring the moral teachings inherent in the words you sling around so blindly. Your 
ignorance is so profound that you can not see it even when it is flung in your face 
because you are so blind."

"So...um,"Peter started, "Why were you talking to the pope? Were you and 
he having a spiritual battle?"

"The pope and I are friends,"Satan laughed, "We have meetings weekly to 
discuss how we can further mutilate the teachings of Jesus and use them for propaganda to 
achieve our own ends."

Mary again looked defiant, "I'm not going to let your lies fool me."

Satan's eyes widened, "Ah, but am I lying? Could I be? How can you know? Perhaps I am. 
Perhaps I am taking advantage of the folly of men to destroy your faith. Maybe the pope is 
just a guy, trying to do good in a hopelessly corrupt system. Maybe the church is trying 
to do good, and maybe the trail of bodies it has left behind over all of history are just 
little misguided mistakes. But then...what hope would you have against me then? How could
the corrupt and the blind and the weak defend you against me? Ah, but shut your ears. For
all things which pass out of this mouth are lies. All I ever do is lie. But that isn't 
really possible, is it? How can you know what to trust? Of course, you don't really have 
to fear me. For I am a fool. I stand no chance against faith and the good will of men, 
now, do I? Your God will protect you and give you strength."

"He will."said Mary. 

Satan shrugged, "We will see what he does as I take you and drag you off to hell. 
Will you scream for his mercy?"

"No."Mary replied, "I've read the bible. The guy on the cross who told J
esus to get up and help him, he went to hell because he was a sarcastic asshole."

"You Christians and your ability to obtusely skip through the bible, taking 
everything literally and missing all of the subtext. All of the lessons. It never ceases 
to amaze me. Why God would create you and expect us to bow to you, I will never know."
Satan whispered, "You treat your religion with all of the reference a child gives to
a B-movie. You like all of the miracles and the special effects, but you miss the overt
moral teachings."Satan stepped forward, "Now, it's time to join the damned in 
hell, kids."

"No."Pekoe said quietly. 

Satan looked at him in surprise, "No?"

Pekoe shrugged, "I came here tonight to put up a mighty reinforced stockade between 
the devil's malicious lowly wraith and the meek bewildered lacerated souls which dwell 
within their empty hollow physical shells."

Satan looked at Pekoe with disgust, pointed at Fathom, and asked, "You would want to 
save them?"

"Yes."Pekoe replied softly. 

"You know they'll just be mine one day anyway, don't you?"Satan asked. 

Pekoe shrugged and went on quietly, "If when, these people before us stand upon the 
floors of the divine scholarly courtroom of the higher sphere of reality, Jesus looks down 
from his raised righteous golden throne and he decides to throw these people to the lowly
gloom depths of the abyss of the lower realm...your realm. Then that will be the choice of 
the almighty infallible truth and not of a pile of stained prejudiced protoplasms and n
eurons. And not of a cynical hopeless deceitful devil who believes himself to be almighty,
infallible, and divine."

Satan sighed, "No, Cannabinoilis Pekoe, I will take these souls."

"Remember the wounds on you behind from where it was leisurely and  ferociously torn
off and reattached."said Pekoe calmly but with fury in his tone, "Remember back
years ago when my magnificent spectral triumphant army materialized out of the precise 
coordinated vicious vibrations of my dependable venerable sturdy fiddle and brought yours
to an unceremonious crushing calamitous defeat. Remember the oppressive invisible immortal
chains which bind you forever to do my will."

Satan shivered and said bitterly, "Ok, you win. But why would you want to save them 
anyway?"

"That's a good question."Pekoe said as he smiled, "I done a lot of bad 
wicked deranged things in this vast spiteful misshapen world, but now I seen a luminous 
promising ray of light. I been born again as a Christian."

"Take that, Satan."yelled Mary triumphantly, "Even in this world of sin and 
lust, people can still wake up to the truth." 

"Damn."Teaspoon said, "You think you know someone. You always say, it ain't 
never happening to me. And then you born again as a Christian. You all obnoxious and shit. 
It's crazy."

Satan eyed Pekoe with suspicion, "What are you up to?"

"He's doing the work of Jesus."Peter screamed back at Satan.

"He might be."Satan replied, "But I know Cannabinoilis Pekoe. There's 
something more at work here. He's up to something. He's always been crafty, especially for 
a nigger."

"Dude."said Peter in astonishment, "You just said the the n-word."

"Yeah, I'm evil incarnate, and big surprise, I'm a bigot."replied Satan 
sarcastically, "You know what else? I also hate women and queers. I love George Bush,
war, poverty, and corruption. I also moderately like Obama and the Democrats, just 
because they've made it too easy for me."

"Yeah."said Peter, "But you shouldn't say that stuff out loud because a kid 
might hear you or something. What would you do if a kid heard your hateful talk?"

"I'd be proud."said Satan, "I'm Satan, I want all people to be touched by 
the crippling power of evil."

"That's no reason to be racist."Peter replied, "Racism is just stupid."

"Do you notice I'm white?"Satan asked. 

Peter nodded, "Yep, and that's another stereotype. The devil is a white guy."

"It's deliberate."said Satan in response, "No, I mean, I bleached my skin 
white, deliberate. See, I started out as black. The very first humans were black, as were
the angels. But as humanity progressed, there became a wider variety in skin color. And 
humans you see, always ones to create imaginary divisions, they invented bigotry based 
upon skin color. It's one of the few useful things humans invented, along with war and 
poverty. The whites took on the role of oppressor, and so I bleached my skin. Because I 
want to take on the form of power, whatever form that takes. I want to be evil. No one in
their right mind could fear the wraith of a slave."Satan paused, "Well, seeing 
as the nigger won't let me do my work, I guess we're done here."Satan bowed to Pekoe, 
"I will see you later, friend."Satan said the last word with an undertone of 
bitterness and then he and his band disappeared. 

"Well."sighed Mary, "Thank the lord that's over."

"Yeah."chimed in Andrew, "It's unbelievable, we come here just trying to 
preach the good word, and they try to kill us."

"I know."replied Peter, "We were just walking around and telling everyone 
that they were sinful fagots who were all going to burn in hell." 

Andrew shook his head, "Some people just can't take rational conversation."

Peter shrugged, "I know. We can't help it if they're baby killers. It's just a fact. 
They shouldn't get all bent over it."

"I know."Mary said, "And we were ordained by God to shoot them with 
crossbows. We're just doing god's work. And when we burned them at the stake for being 
witches. It's nothing personal, just trying to get the devil magic out of you. Maybe if 
you burn enough on Earth, Jesus will spare you in hell. Maybe, but probably not. And when
we waterboarded them. They shouldn't have been pissed, we just wanted them to accept Jesus
Stretching their body out was just a way to try and stretch out their soul. That way, 
they'd see the truth."

"Have you ever thought that people don't like you because you're violent?"I 
asked, "Because you're narrow minded, intolerant, you start fights all the time, and
you don't engage in intelligent discussion."

Mary growled at me in response and gritted her teeth, "You're narrow minded, because 
you don't even listen to me. You don't even listen. You just reject us offhand like we're
some kind of fanatics. We're not fanatics. You'll see, you'll see, when the fire camels 
roam the Earth. When they roam the Earth and devour the unworthy. That's you. You're 
intolerant. You're starting a fight with me right now. A verbal fight, and I don't like 
it. I don't like it one bit."

Pekoe laughed, "Don't you mind Ruby Drip too much, he's just wallowing in unwarranted 
crippling oppressive fear because he thinks he's going to be hatefully unlawful persecuted 
for what he believe in."Pekoe pulled a CD out of my pocket, "See, he listens to 
Remez. A Jewish Metal band. This is they first album, Septuagint. It has new harmonious 
contemporary renditions of old cherished exalted bible stories."At this, Pekoe gave 
the CD to Mary and she studied it wide eyed. 

"Yeah, Septuagint is really cool and all,"I started, "But I really like 
Land of Nod because it's experimental and it has social sat..."

"It's all good, Ruby Drip, it's all good, brother,"said Pekoe, cutting me off. 
Pekoe let Mary take in the CD for a while and then addressed her, "So you see, Ruby 
is a good Christian man, we all good Christian men, Ruby just fearing being ridiculed for
his beliefs."

Having heard Pekoe say this, Mary became sympathetic and put her hand on my shoulder, she 
looked me directly in the eyes, "I Know it can be hard. I know it can be hard 
standing up and saying that you believe in Jesus. Because people will make fun of you. 
They will make fun of you for believing in Jesus. But you have to be brave. You have to be 
brave. You have to have courage and proudly stand up for what you believe in. Stand up for
Jesus."

"How do you have to be brave to take the mainstream opinion?"I asked skeptically, 
"We don't live in the Roman Empire. They aren't crucifying people. We live in 
America. Christianity is prevalent."

"Yeah, shit,"Teaspoon chimed in, "Me and Redphantom both, and Terry all 
come from the South. We been livin' in the buckle of the bible belt."

Mary screamed, "But the atheists make fun of us, with their books and their pens and 
papers, and their machine gun microphones."

Teaspoon snorted, "Compare the shit you get to all the shit atheists have to take."

"But the atheists have fabric weasel tanks!"Mary said hysterically, "They 
started this. They started this war. With their science fueled machine industrial invasion 
of religion. They started this. This war. But we're going to finish it. We're going to 
finish it, you watch. We'll finish it with love and hand holding."

"You capable of love, uber cunt?"asked Teaspoon, who drew dirty looks from Pekoe.

In the corner of the room, the bassist of Fathom was rocking back and forth and was on the 
verge of tears. He suddenly yelled, "I can't take this anymore. This rock star life. 
I can't take all the praying. I see my family fourteen hours a day. It's too much. I just
want to go somewhere away from them for four months and then do some crack cocaine. And 
party, and have sex with lots of different women. I can't take this life anymore. That's 
it, I quit the band."

"I think you need your holy water."replied Mary. 

The bassist's face contorted in horror as Mary said this, and he said, "I'm not 
having any of that fucking holy water."

Mary ignored him and brought out a bottle of water, "I really think that you need 
some holy water. You're sick. And the holy water will make you better."

"No!"the bassist screamed in response.

Mary shook her head and took out a syringe. Mary slowly filled the syringe with the holy 
water and then said to the bassist, menacingly, "Drink your holy water."

"No!"the bassist screamed just before he began to run. Mary was much faster than 
he was, and she brought down the syringe into the bassist's neck before he could even 
leave the room. The syringe went in with such force that the needle bent. Mary pushed down 
the plunger on the syringe, pushing down the holy water into the bassist's blood stream. 
The bassist began to writhe and foam at the mouth. Then he fell to the floor and died. 

"I think you have sinned!"Mary screamed loudly at her comrade's death. Mary 
continued to scream loudly, and her screams degenerated into animalistic shrieking sounds.
Then she shrieked words, "Je me suis cogné le doigt par la dernière nuit diable. Il 
était bon. J'ai crié fort. J'aime le sexe fou et la drogue. Ne l'écoutez pas à moi, je 
suis un imposteur."

"What the fuck is that?"Terry asked in astonishment. 

"I'm praying."Mary screamed, "It's my own special prayer language that only 
God and I can understand."

"Really? Because it sounds like French."replied Terry. 

"If it is French, then it's a miracle, because I've never studied French a day in my 
life."Mary screamed at Terry and then she continued to make animalistic shrieking 
sounds. After about twenty minutes time, she finally stopped. 

Andrew broke the silence, "Yeah...I kind of thought our bassist might be trouble when 
he chose the band name of Judas."

Peter shook his head, "He had eight other names to choose from, but he just had to 
go with Judas."

"He just didn't like the rest of them."Andrew sighed. 

Peter continued to shake his head, "Yeah well, Moses didn't like having to wear rags 
and having a wooden stick as his only weapon. Plus the beard got itchy. But he did it 
anyway. He did it anyway."

Mary started sobbing softly and said, "Pray for him."she continued to sob and 
then she screamed, "Pray for him! Satan grabbed his soul when he was here earlier, he 
must have. Pray for him. Pray for his soul. Pray to God and pray for his soul. And pray in 
thanks that Jesus saved us from the Satanists."

"I'm pretty sure that was Cannabinoilis Pekoe who saved you from the Satanists."T
erry replied. 

"It was Jesus."Mary replied menacingly. 

Terry shook his head and said, "No, I'm pretty sure Cannabinoilis Pekoe did that. I'm 
pretty sure you can't refute that."

"He did it because Jesus sent him to do it."Mary said angrily. 

Terry shook his head again, "No, I'm pretty sure he did it out of his own free will."

"Your faith is shaken."said Mary manically, "You need holy water."
Mary held up the bottle of holy water to Terry. 

"I've got my kid here."Terry replied nervously as he pointed to Temperance. 

Mary got a look of insanity in her eyes, "Then we don't him to see his father drowned 
in sin like he is, do we? Do we? Do we? Do we?"Mary rocked back and forth and held up 
the holy water to Terry. 

"I really don't want my kid to see this."Terry said pathetically. 

Mary barred her teeth and said, "Drink it."

"Go on. Drink it."Pekoe said to Terry with his deep voice. Terry looked at Pekoe 
nervously. Pekoe looked back at him, straight in the eyes and said, "Go on, drink it.
It ain't gonna hurt ya. I promise."At this, Terry drank the holy water and nothing 
happened. Pekoe smiled at Mary and said, "See. Jesus likes the Epicene Machine. It's
all good. The holy water healed him."

Mary stared at Terry for a long time with confusion before slowly saying, "Yes, yes,
I guess it did. It healed him."

Pekoe smiled and said, "Well, I'll tell ya. I been inspired by your divinely placed 
miraculous overflowing immense talent. I see you in a bit of a down time though. Let me 
help you. Let me be your manager."

"That sounds like a good idea."said Peter enthusiastically, "After all, it 
does seem like you know the business well. Plus you helped Jesus save all of our asses 
back there. How could we refuse your offer?"

"Yeah."said Mary, "We'll take you up on your offer."

"Good."replied Pekoe, "And Ruby Drip, the Epicene Machine, and Teaspoon 
will help out."

Terry looked at Pekoe, "Oh no, I won't, I've got to get Temperance home by Sunday or
his mother will freak out."

Pekoe shook his head, "I'll see to it she don't. You comin' along. This'll be perfect. 
The large beautiful enticing magnetic things on Mary's chest will ensure we sell lots of 
records."

"That's right."Mary said loudly, "My heart. My heart is on my chest. And 
that's why people like my music. Because I use my heart. I use my heart and my blood and 
sweat, and people love it."

Pekoe just smiled and laughed at Mary's remark. Then we all prepared to depart on our long 
mission to manage Fathom. 

To be continued